Nice to meet you TLW!

In these days of a crashing U.S. economy, the doom and gloom attitude can easily mess things up by making people think there’s only so much pie left to go around, and they better grab their crumb. It’s time to point out that all money-making enterprises are based on ideas. Ideas, ideas ideas, ideas are everything. When the economy is deflating, it’s time to go back to the Idea Well. Is yours empty? Let’s say yes. Well, mine is full. I got so many ideas that I’d need ten thousand lifetimes to work them all out, so since I only got one life and would rather live it as a blonde, keeping my options open, I’m giving free ideas away today. As an old fart into history, I’d love to see acres of buildings full of people working my ideas, whether they gave me credit or not (hopefully historians will, like my great great grandfather on the Cuban $100 note), entire regions of the country, entire nations, the entire world and galaxies beyond. I like to think of myself as the idea man at the toppy top top top, up on Mount Olympus, where I wear a toga and sandals with my long white beard and carry a cane. Spend awhile and see if there’s one for you.

Entrepreneur Wanted

Sept. 5, I’m seeking a Bill Gates type entrepreneur to become CEO of my Historyscoping Enterprise. Basically, we are going to use the Internet to flood the world with virtually unlimited history education in all languages, forming the basis of a new worldwide school system that looks to the future of a one world government, and by its own success guarantees that it will be a freer, better government. I’ve been working for many years on the Top Level Track of Time, the basic curriculum for every student to get a working knowledge of global world history to see his place in the world, and now I need an entrepreneur to form an enterprise to get financial backing to build a high capacity Web site with a large staff of historyscopers and translators. I want to work with the existing publishing world as much as possible also. If this turns you on please email TLW at historyscoper rat tat tat gmail polkadot com.

Invester/Buyer Wanted – Tommy’s Toys Software Co.

Oct. 11, I used to run a PC game software co. called Tommy’s Toys, which has a unique image and marketing formula to the effect that the software is written by aliens from outer space, and that Tommy, an eternal infant humanoid with a giant brain (based on my baby picture) is the head alien (I should have spelled it with three Ms). In the days when software tycoons like Bill Gates were busy trying to monopolize the PC software market and upping the ante by hiring ever-more college grads who like to work all night for free pizza, my private joke is that my entire company was just one person, me, churning out zillions of lines of code in a home office while trying to lay low, contenting myself with knowing I was the world’s greatest computer programmer and everybody else was a piker, and I didn’t want to become a businessman and manage the managers of managers of computer programmers but do it all myself – like, who cares about becoming a billionaire and having to figure out what to do with it and avoid the pies in the face? I started out in 1985 in the days of DOS, taking the idea of BASIC games to the extreme using QuickBasic to produce over 200 different titles, mainly word, card, and mind games, which I ended up mainly giving away for free because of the massive piracy, but at least it ruined the market for everybody else, particularly Microsoft, another one of my private jokes, the real reason they never got into the game software biz very deep. The technical point is that I almost never descended into C or assembly language but stayed in Basic so that I could whip out a new game a week as if I was a big company with a hundred programmers rather than spend years on one game that would have cost a lot of development money and couldn’t have survived being pirated (too bad, for all those companies that went belly up, grin). Thus I stayed away from arcade games that require the last ounce of performance, and concentrated on the type of games that rely on your memory and skill rather than reflexes, which worked out nicely when the Japanese took over the arcade game biz but couldn’t handle English mind games since they couldn’t speak good enough English. After Windows came out I never used Visual Basic but kept using QuickBasic since Windows can run DOS anyway. Tommy’s Toys are a legend now, the kind you either love or hate, but had to deal with in the PC/Windows world, and if you’re in your 20s-30s maybe you played with them in the day. Way into the late 1990s I was the only software company still putting out DOS programs. I quit making new games about 10 years ago to start a new career as a novelist and historyscoper (which had nothing to do with the market, but is my own personal biological clock kicking in), but now I’m thinking would be a good time to revamp the software on a new standard, namely the Web of today, and make the entire set into an online multiuser Web toy chest. The only problem is the sheer mass of it, and the fact that I am too busy to go back to computer programming or game design except as a minor activity, and already expended massive mental effort to produce the code I got. The core routines and sense of humor are priceless, and all they need is conversion to Visual Basic, er, something Internet-oriented such as Java, a new graphical user interface, and new graphic and sound FX and multiuser operating system, which all only has to be developed once then applied across the entire game set. And this time, thanks to the Internet, we can insure that they all pay for the play, preferably as a service rather than trying to sell game programs per se. So I’m looking for an investor, buyer, or partner with enough bucks to hire at least 100 programmers, plus enough bucks to give it a marketing push and host a big enough Web site. In return I’ll provide my secret source code, and my expertise as a master consultant, head toymaker and editor in chief. The potential is the possibility of virtually everybody on the Net playing these silly engrossing software toys all the time, a Universal Family Game Channel, a Disney Channel from Outer Space, and a new billion dollar corporation with me as the figurehead and you as the fat cat. Massive time-wasters, granted, but good for the brain too, and all G-rated – what better biz to be in?

One of my old Web sites is till up on AOL for laughs: Tommy’s Toys AOL Site.

You can also Google ‘Tommy’s Toys’ and see what’s still floating around.

If interested email me at tlwinslow ‘hat’ a o l dot com or and present your credentials and business proposal.

TLW’s Vision for Taking the Internet to the Promised Land

Sept. 5, The original Internet was created by anything but business-oriented designers. The spam problem is just one of many proofs of this. Jeesh, how dumb not to include in the design of email a ‘password’ field, so that email with a blank or wrong password can be automatically sorted by the receiver into a junk mail bin, while mail with different passwords is automatically sorted into different bins of your choice, like in any big company that has a mail sorting room. Instead, they let spam rage on and try to criminalize it, making the lawyers rich.

The next big problem with the Internet is the fundamental design of Web sites. Basically, they allow companies to create online vending machines. Duh, what makes any commercial enterprise go is salesmen. Salesmen made America great and were the secret weapon that defeated Soviet Communism and European Socialism, grin. Vending machines don’t have salesmen, are lame and require the customer to have to read a catalog and do too much work to select what they really want, and are great targets for thieves. Ergo, the commercial potential of the Internet is languishing in a sea of lawlessness and piracy, where ironically the real salesmen are those using spam to hook sales, or the porno sites where what you see is what you get, after providing your credit card info.

The Internet should be the great world store, and here’s the magic solution, straight from TLW the WGG. I want to create a new type of protocol, call it live://, which reverses the control scheme so that the Web site operators do the pointing and clicking for the customer. In other words, like a 2-way TV set, where a live salesman appears when you connect with them, and they ask you what you’d like to see, and then show it to you by utilizing their knowledge of the merchandize, and suggest products and puff the merch and cut deals, then close the sale, at which point all you do is fill in the customer info., which itself can be done electronically with pre-validated payment keys. People don’t want to buy, they want to be sold, look it up in your Funk & Wagnalls, 877-CASH-NOW. Companies can then close down their physical stores and use all their salesmen online, working out of their homes, to do biz on a worldwide basis 24/7, and drop-ship the merch. Big chains can still keep their service centers for big ticket items. Unlike http sites, connecting to a live site requires the company to have a switchboard-like system that routes you to an available live operator. The customer can utilize his video camera to become visible to the live operator, or just connect via voice and keyboard, or maybe dress up in costume, who cares, it’s da Internet and the customer is always right. When operators are not available, the live sites can default to the old vending machine http kind, groan. Once the new protocol takes over the Internet, the possibilities are endless, such as operators acting as auctioneers to a bunch of customers at the same time. People like to wheel and deal with people, and vending machines can go to hell.

I could do this all myself, and become a zillionaire like Bill Gates, but life is short and I wanna be a Historyscoper, sorry, so I’m announcing this idea to the world, come and get it. If the smart lucky winner wants to peel me off a billion for a finder’s fee, I won’t turn it down 🙂

New Energy Idea by TLW: the Winslow

Sept. 5, In an era when petroleum is too expensive and has too many environmental problems, wind power beckons. I’m too busy being a Historyscoper to take the time out to crack the engineering books and go at it myself, but I’m offering another idea to the world for some lucky smart duck plucker. I call it the Winslow. Hopefully when you become a zillionaire you’ll at least still call it that? Peel me off a zillion too for a finder’s fee and I won’t turn it down 🙂

Basically, my idea is this. Ever see The Wizard of Oz and that great tornado? Okay, Nature makes tornadoes, and uncontrolled, they’re bad. What if we could make an artificial tornado, inside a big concrete or other nonmagnetic cylinder, and maintain it indefinitely? Let’s say the cylinder is wound with iron coils, and we inject into the tornado some magnetized iron balls, with a screen that prevents them from flying out of the cylinder. The rotation of the magnets inside the coil all in the same direction will produce guess what? I’m going to say B, the Universe, made of electricity.

How do we create a tornado? Think of a bathtub with a vortex going in the drain, only with wind. What I envisage is a huge installation on some desert land which has available wind. The mathematical physics work needs to be done, but let’s imagine a bunch of concrete canyonlike walls that from the sky look like a giant conch shell, probably with some kinky topology, perhaps shaping the walls like airplane wings, to give the wind an uplift as well as a twist. All the winds from every direction are slowly aggregated and given the same uptwist, and as they approach the center they should increase in volume and speed and go tornado, with the waste wind exiting out the top. And if the wind collection area is large enough to create a constant reserve, the tornado can be kept alive indefinitely, even with average slow winds, because, like a bathtub, it’s just a matter of keeping the water level high enough to keep the vertex going in the drain. Maybe I’m nuts, but let’s say we get our computer simulators going, then go to wind tunnel tests. Obviously, if it can be made to work, we have free electricity, after paying for the initial installation. And there are no moving parts like with stupid propeller-driven windmills and rotor-driven electric generators, so upkeep is cheap. An installation can last 100 years, becoming a money machine after so many years. And it’s environmentally friendly, once precautions are taken for birds and wildlife, indeed, each Winslow installation can become a wildlife habitat. Maybe a 2nd generation portable Winslow will materalize, allowing the so-called Third World to electricize at jet speed. Or even outer space projection seems within relative reach. Okay, it’s just a dream now, but something tells me it can be made to work by a persistent Edison type. Wind. Slow. Winslow, get it? How about General Winslow Corporation, headed by you? Check back with me when you get anywhere, I’d be glad to sit on the board as long as I don’t have to do anything but dispense advice and get a fat paycheck and get off on the double meaning of the name of the company.

EBS:The Next Big Thing on the Highways, by TLW

May 1, 2009

Way back around 1976 I saw “The Silencers” (1966), starring Dean Martin as Matt Helm. At one point his spy car flashes messages off its bumper, like an electronic billboard. A light went off.

I call it the Electronic Bumper Sticker (EBS). Every moving vehicle ought to have an EBS installed as factory equipment. They are just what’s missing from vehicles. Every time I go on the highway I wonder why why what happened, is it my fault, yes it is. I even put the idea in one of my novels, “The Incredible Billion Dollar Geek”, and still nobody got it. Do we have a drumroll effect here, seriously? The idea is that when you’re driving a car, it’s impossible to figure out what the vehicles around you intend to do next. If only they would tell you. If only you could communicate with them. How? Use a CB radio? How do you know what channel to use, and if they even have a CB? Text them on your iPod? How do you know their email address, and if they even have a cell phone? Either way, they require you to use your hands too much, which is dangerous to you and everybody else on the road.

If I’m trying to merge left so I can take a highway exit, I can put on my blinkers. Trouble is, the assholes won’t let me over. Maybe they think I left them on by mistake, or I just want to ride in the right lane. Maybe they think I want to take the exit two exits down, not the one coming up in a few blocks. If I could put a message on my back bumper saying “I’m exiting Exit 212A, please let me in”, it might help. Ah, that’s a really bad wreck, the guy needs a lawyer like mine. But that would require me to type on a keyboard? Yes and no. After enough are on the road, the highway guys would no doubt build transponders into every exit sign and all you have to do is push a button and keep pushing until the right exit sign comes up.

Let’s say I’m a studly single guy and drive by a hot looking chick in a sports car. What am I supposed to do? It’d be nice if I could put my cell phone number on my bumper in case she’d like it. Or vice-versa, since she’s got her own EBS. Get the idea yet?

The ramifications are interesting. It shouldn’t take long for companies to start soliciting space on EBSes for advertising. Think of a highway full of vehicles, every one having their EBS going full time, with ads cycling and all making a few bucks to pay for gas. I suppose they could become distracting, but I’m sure the government will step in with regulations, perhaps starting with illumination wattage limits. Some vehicles might have EBses on all four sides, maybe a bank of them on all four sides. The EBS in front can be made to read backwards, so the vehicles in front can read it via their rearview mirror. Of course color videos will be available in at least the 2nd generation.

You might think that the government would try to outlaw them, but guess what? They might mandate them instead, since they will soon realize that a police override can be built in, for example, if there’s an accident two miles ahead, so they can make all EBSes flash an informative message. Or at border crossings, toll gates, airports, whatever. Much more powerful than detour signs. And they can be instantly changed, rippling on back down the vehicles. Note that the messages being flashed on the EBS will also show up in the driver’s console display.

Of course, EBSes will come with keyboards, and a driver can get in the same dangerous trouble with them that he gets with cell phones. But with EBSes, a passenger can work the keyboard too, just don’t let the kids get their hands on them or you might become instant roadkill, you suck what? At least, the EBS will open up a world of private vehicle-to-vehicle communication that isn’t subject to easy eavesdropping like with CB radio or cell phone. Only the vehicles close enough to read the EBS will know what you’re saying to them, but my heart is a lonely hunter is a line from the 1896 poem.

Then there’s a market for EBS apps, like with iPhone. I know, I know, there will be Cussing Out Apps, Political Propaganda Apps, the economic possibilities are endless, Cinco de Mayo Barbie, Personal Bankruptcy Barbie.

What’s stopping the EBS Revolution? Back in the 1970s, it was the lack of technology. Now, nothing. I hope somebody takes my idea and runs with it, and helps create a bustling new industry with 100,000 jobs. It would be nice if I could get a 3% idea fee out of the charity of their heart, plus a lifetime supply of free chaffeured limos with EBSes included and all expenses paid.

Ciao, TLW

About Webmaster

Nerd, web lover and always passionate, He is here to tell you the way it is - or at least how he sees it. View all posts by Armani → Feel free to network with us and contribute at anytime, 24/7. Cheers! - Mr. Aguilera Jr. AAHA! Add him on Twitter: "uRSVP"

Posted on August 11, 2009, in Administration, Bureau of Business, Careers, Foreign Exchange, HowTo, National Committees, The Project and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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